It’s the age-old question, can men and women be “friends?” In order to answer that question, it is important to accurately define friendship between members of the opposite sex.
Friend: one attached to another by affection or esteem (Webster)
For me, the same things that are attractive to me in a romantic sense are the same things that make me want to spend time with my platonic males friends–minus one important factor: I don’t desire them sexually. That’s not to say that I don’t find my boys attractive ( I roll with some cute dudes) but I’m not interested in them in that way. There’s also the ambigious “Friends w/Benefits” (also known as “Buddies”) category. Those are the friends who you are interested in sexually, but you don’t want to pursue anything deeper past friendly activities and sex. I don’t believe in having Buddies; those are often messy situations. No matter how clear you are in the beginning about boundaries and intentions, the message always gets twisted, one person catches feelings and the whole thing blows up. My advice–avoid at all cost. It’s not healthy for you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
Example A- Buddy
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHPdNXwU8GE&w=420&h=315]
Example B-Just Friends
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7zsG3XFUd8&w=420&h=315]
Okay so back to the friend thing. Why do you think it’s so hard for men and women to be friends? Is it because people just don’t understand what true friendship is? I’m curious to hear your thoughts? If you are in Charlotte on March 19th, Join us for the Barbershop and Beauty Salon Confessions: Relationship Chat & Chews, this will be one of our topics.
