Hi Everyone…I’m so pleased to welcome CM Writer as my very first guest blogger. She has a wealth of experience in this arena (and clearly I need it; after all I own a dating blog, but I don’t date, lol. However, that’s another story for another day). I really enjoy CM Writer’s perspective, so I encourage you all to read and comment. Let’s get the discussion popping. And for those in Charlotte, she will also be the featured facilitator on Feb. 20th for our upcoming relationship chat and chew at Red @ 28th in NoDa. Truly a do not miss event:-).
Faith is the antidote to fear. It works to both protect and push you toward the brighter life you can have. Fear is the poison that binds you to past pains. What do you do when you are afraid? Do you cower in a corner? Run toward safety? Look for an escape? Or do you freeze?
Fear is learned. It comes from bad memories, a reminder of hurts experienced once before. Fear is this uncanny thing that kicks in our most innate fight or flight senses. Being able to react to fear is great for survival. However, most of us want to go above and beyond merely surviving. We want to thrive.
In the relationship realm, we rarely call the feelings that we have “fear”. No. It is “intuition”, “suspicions”, a “sixth sense” or “being perceptive”. All of those things are wonderful, except when the situation does not warrant them.
If you are dealing with an upstanding person, the worst thing you can do is give into your “intuition”. It will have you going through phones, checking Facebook pages, and questioning every move and motive of your mate. There is nothing appealing about being in a relationship with a private eye who only has one case to his or her name…and that case is turning the relationship upside down until everything falls apart. Who wants to grow in love with a snoop?
Fear also has a paralyzing effect. It continuously whispers in your ear all the bad things of your past. People don’t change…he’s just like the last one…Remember you do not want to be hurt again. So you carry the fear of past experiences into your present. You cannot move forward because you have never dealt with the pains of your past. Fear can immobilize you.
Fear blocks the bad AND the good. Fear causes your defense mechanisms to kick in. You have a wall of protection around you, so that no bad can come near you. However, the same wall keeps all good out as well.
Faith operates in the opposite direction of fear with the same good results but none of the bad. Faith comes through learning from the past that no matter what comes your way, you will be okay. Faith is built through trials, and sustained by your endurance.
Faith allows you to open up to be understood and to see others clearly without the muck of the past clouding your vision. Faith allows you to trust earnestly without being blocked by insecurities. Faith is not in the other person, per se. It is in the knowledge that God will see you through any circumstance.
Faith does not lead you to being foolish; it opens you to becoming more aware. Faith gives the benefit of the doubt. Faith protects your heart while easing your mind. Faith provides you stability and security. There is nothing you can go through that will change that, once you have even the smallest amount of faith.
With faith, you don’t have to worry about what a person will do to you. You can actually enjoy the relationship and build a solid foundation. Snooping will never cross your mind. Fear of being hurt will vanish. Intuition will pour out all the senses to finally realize and feel the love and security that is possible.
Faith gives you a hedge of protection, but opens a pathway to your heart.
CM Writer is an attorney and blogger. CM created Your Boyfriend’s Best Girlfriend Blog to showcase her close friendships with men. CM sprinkles her blog with her spiritual upbringing, southern sass, and prissy-nerdy-tomboy charm.