Today’s post comes from a very real and personal place for me. Ladies–and I’m including myself–we have got to stop bestowing special treatment on men who have either (a) have not put any effort into gaining that designation or (b) flat out don’t deserve it.
Example: I can be very accommodating to the people in my close circle. I am a listening ear, shoulder when needed, idea generator, caregiver, whatever, I’m that person. And yes, we should be that for our friends, regardless if it is reciprocated in the way that we would like (after all, you can only control your own actions, thoughts and perceptions). However, we must be careful when we provide that type of comfort for our male friends. I often get into the habit of treating my male friends like boyfriends (minus the intimacy)…and recently, I had a light bulb moment, this has to stop. What has any of these men done to deserve that type of time and energy from me. They get all the perks without any of the commitment or accountability, with the excuse “We’re just friends.” With the “friends” designation, there are no guidelines or expectations. And I’m not cool with that. It’s definitely not the guys’ fault. Who wouldn’t want all that great attention, thoughtfulness, and even “just wishing you a great day” phone calls and texts–especially when you don’t have to do anything for it? It’s completely my fault.
So today moving forward, for the men in my life, I am going to treat you as what you are…a friend, without the special treatment that should reserved for those who are actually interested and WANT to shower me with the same care, attention and thoughtfulness that I’m willing, able and often available to give.
As with most things that are highly enjoyable in life, you will need to work hard to reap the benefits, nothing good comes easy…